Being Up With Down Syndrome

I read an  article  about David Cassidy's last words.  "SO MUCH WASTED TIME!" This resonate's in my families lives.  There are people in my own family not speaking to each other.  There are people in my husband's family not speaking to us.  The reasons?  Everyone has their own opinion on who is right.  Our children see it all.  Hear it all.  Tuck it away inside.  We have tried to make peace but it takes the other side to want this too.  They made it loud and clear they want none of us.  So much wasted time. So.  How do you fix this?  You don't.  You forgive and then you turn to the ones who you love and love you back.  Don't waste time. Find those around you that bring you joy!  Laughter!  LOVE! Everyday I wake up and pray in gratitude for blessing me.  Thankful for our busy life. Kate is turning SIX YEARS OLD, November 30.  Almost six years ago we were thrown into the unknown.  So much to learn.  So much fear!  Now Kate has grown so much and so have

Kate is doing fantastic in her new school!   Kate needed more structure with a teacher, two aides and three therapists.  You may wonder how I can Homeschool Kate! Well, the first job as parents is to bring our children to Christ!  That job is mine and our family's.  Teaching our children to pray is so very special.  I still have to help Kate to make the sign of the cross, but she then folds her hands in prayer.  When showing Kate a beautiful picture of Jesus, she began to squeal and laugh with joy.  This was so special to me!  I could see that she knows who he is and loves him unconditionally.   As we place holy statues and pictures throughout our house we are showing Kate her family!  Wondering how to teach a child with special needs who Jesus and Mary are, worried me some.  Her reaction tells me that she is well aware of her heavenly family.   Her big brother Beau recently got married and Kate was the flower girl.  Her Dad walked Kate down the aisle.  The beauty of thi

The title is how I feel.  The reality is that Dan is my cousin.  Our Dads were/are brothers.  Both men now in Heaven.  I am five years younger than Dan.  It doesn't matter now, but back in the day I was the little cousin.  He is so so funny.  He has THE best sense of humor and one liners ever.  I always felt a special place in my heart for him.  What changed our relationship was love.  We always loved each other but it was by jokes and so much joyful laughter.  Then I was almost killed in a car accident when I was 20.  It shook him.  He wrote me a wonderful poem/card about how everyone and how he felt.  Through my life, he was always there, somewhere...  I depended on this.  When my Dad died he was a big part of my strength.  I suffered greatly from depression that first year.  He was "around".  Then Dan's Dad got sick with Cancer.  I loved my Uncle Tom and needed to be there.  By there, I needed to help some way.  In the end, it helped me.  It concreted my Catholic f

Today I realized something amazing has happened. I found peace. Every weekday morning Kate happily gets out of bed EXCITED to go to school. She loves it so much and so do we. When we walk into school in the morning she can barely contain herself, waiting for her teacher to come and take her to class. She smiles bigley! For the first time since I was pregnant with her I am not worried about her. We see her changing so much! She is calmer. She is more engaged. She is listening to directions and she is so loving. To not worry about Kate is so new and so peaceful. The teachers and all the workers are so kind and caring. We knew this school was a perfect fit. Trinity and I witnessed a very stressful event with a child in the parking lot, one morning. The school was so on top of it and expertly handled the incident professionally and lovingly. To work full-time with special needs children, you need a loving heart. That is all I see. I see parents that want so much for their

Kate's first week of school flew by! Her first day she took her Teachers hand and walked to her classroom, just as she should! We did not shed a tear. We fought the hard fight and won. This is exactly where Kate needs to be. We all know it and are so excited that she will grow into a more competent Kate. More independent and choosing what she likes and not about what we want. We can't wait for the day she can tell me what she wants to eat. What her favorite color is. What she thinks is pretty. What she wants for her birthday or Christmas. All these things we took for granted. We are so proud of her. God led us to this peaceful road after much heartache. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I CANNOT believe it is 30 years. Honestly, it seems like last year when I think about it. To this day, I feel that pain in my heart. We lost you to an accident. Recently your wonderful, wonderful sister Suann told me you weren't wearing your seatbelt. I was stunned by that because of my terrible accident the year before. I know, I know I told you that my seatbelt saved my life. Dave can vouch for this. I looked like a raccoon you said!!! Two black eyes staring at you... Well Paul. Your dad and mom are with you now officially this year. Thank you for giving me them, as mine. They loved me unconditionally and laughed at all my antics. I still have your siblings.  At the luncheon after your mom's funeral I sat with Tommy, Vicki and Walter.  I love your family.  Such a kind family.  I invited Walter up to hunt and fish! So, Jim and John are with you now. I thought we would all live to be 90. I always thought I would see you all again. When we did, no time had pass

Kate is going to a very very special school and our school district is paying for it.  Our school district, Burgettstown, tried to convince us that Kate would be fine at their elementary school.  The schools whole entire defense was to make Kate deal with "normal" children.  To get her integrated.  Seriously.  So BJ and I hired a lawyer.  We won and now she is going to be "secluded".  The districts words.  We say, now Kate will thrive. When I saw what this school district was doing, it made me sick.  The reason they fought us was because the special school costs of The Watson Institute a year.  It had nothing to do with what was going to help Kate, it was about the money.  Burgettstown would pay half the tuition and the State the other half.  There were people telling me, with the best intentions and experience, that we needed to "play the game".  Just send her to the public school for six months, and when they fail, you will get the school you ne

BJ took me on an awesome date last night!  For Mothers Day, BJ and the kids got me tickets to see  Sal Valentinetti   at the Palace Theatre in Greensburg, PA.  Sal sings Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and more!  He is 21 years of age and on his way to big success! Beej took me to dinner at  J Corks !  We had so much fun!  It is so nice for us to get these moments.  This past week was hectic with meetings regarding Kate's future and what school she will attend.  We also are in wedding mode!  Everything is coming together beautifully. BJ and I have been together 24 years.  We still laugh and love.  It is rare to find us going to a better restaurant than Applebees!  Lol!  Because we like to relax and not all the fuss.  Our favorite evening out is going to a pub for food and the the American Legion for beers.  We go with my cousin Dan (my brother from another mother) and his girlfriend Sharon, who I consider one of my closest friends who I love so much.  They both know all about Autism

I miss my Dad. My Dad. I could write for days about my Dad. He was the very first man I fell in love with. He was handsome, he was kind and he worked harder than most. When I was little, 3 to 5, he would put me in the car and we would travel! To the Post Office, Bank and THEN somewhere for food. He would hold my little hand and introduce me as his girlfriend. Out of everything I remember about my Dad, it is his hands. How he held mine, how he typed, how he held a cup, and how he danced holding my Mom's hand. I loved everything about this man. Even when he got mad...I reflect with humor. He NEVER swore. If he slipped a swear word we all ran for cover. He took me to my very first day to school. I didn't go to Kindergarten. I was told it was because I was too smart for that. Later when I was torturing my siblings with my intelligence, I was told it was because I was still a baby...attached to my parents!!! I love that now. Well, he brought me to a First Grade. M

In my defense. I am a strong woman. I am a strong wife. I am a strong mother. I am a strong advocate for the disabled. I, I, I! BUT! Without God, I am nothing. Without His guidance in my life, I am nothing. Without His love, I am nothing. Everyone has a story. Everyone of us suffers in our choices. We all suffer from someone's cruelty. I'm good until the cruelty is directed at my children. Before Kate was born I fought to keep the pregnancy. During her delivery, I fought to keep us both alive. When the doctors told us she had Down syndrome, we fought for what was best for her. When she was then diagnosed with Autism, we went into a huge fight with the public school to send her to a wonderful school for her needs! When I was put under attack for how I protected my children, I fought the derogatory barbs. If we as parents don't protect our children, who does? Society? Government? With me is BJ and my children under God's guidance. I pray all day ev

This weekend was about my husband BJ.  We took a road trip Sunday after Mass to Ohio to pick up some new pens for the show pigs.  We spent nine hours together.  It was a beautiful drive in farmland.  We had the best conversations about family.  We talked about the wedding coming up for Angel and Beau and how this is the beginning of a new chapter.  The chapters will start to come faster now.  Before you know it, it will be more marriages and  grandkids. We talked about our dreams.  We share the same dreams and more than anything we share humor.  We love to tease each other and we laugh a lot.  Laughter has gotten us through so many things.  Anger!  Hurt feelings!  BJ has this wonderful way of  saying something to shake me to a smile.  I am able to do the same.  This has lightened up many stressful moments. BJ injured his eye this past week and thank God will be okay.  It was scary.  As soon as panic rose inside of me, I took solace that God was in charge.  After a deep breath and a

We just got back from a well needed, well deserved vacation.  We love Tybee Island, GA.  It is twenty minutes outside of Savannah on the Atlantic Coast.  This was our fourth time on the Island.  It is not commercialized.  It is a small town with history, small restaurants and shops.  It takes you to a time of relaxation.   We took our three youngest with us.  Ireland 14, Trinity 13 and Kate who is now 5.  Ireland and Trinity rented bikes to add to seeing the island.  Reminded me of when BJ and I were kids in Crafton.  Hopping on our bikes to ride to the store or pool.  The girls actually rode to the beach.  Such freedom!   I got to spend a lot of time with Kate.  You would think I always do, but during the school year I do a lot of chauffeuring back and forth.  Along with lots of meetings for Kate's future.  So there was a ton more snuggling and talking to Kate.  I saw her change.  She was more loving and less stressed.   Ireland and Trinity took BJ on a Dolphin Tour and then

A dad, a husband, a son and a Priest all go to a party...want to know how this turns out?  Well, it is still going on, it is the party of Heaven and earth.  My Dad passed away Wednesday, July 26, 2006.  Worst day of my life.  It will be eleven years this July.  I miss him every single day.  Now I remember the great talks and all the laughter.  I ask him to pray for me and my family.  I know he knows Kate.  I know he is a guardian for her. A husband, my husband.  The love of my life and what a life.  All of our children adore this man.  One day I asked him if he ever regretted having all these children and even Kate because of how hard this is sometimes.  He said he couldn't imagine his life without any of them.  He adores them more than they can even comprehend.  BJ reminds me of how we loved my Dad.  I remember how much BJ loved dinners at my parents house.  So much love and laughter.  All were welcome!  My Dad would "hold court".  Telling stories about being a kid or