30 years ago I lost a best friend

I CANNOT believe it is 30 years. Honestly, it seems like last year when I think about it. To this day, I feel that pain in my heart. We lost you to an accident. Recently your wonderful, wonderful sister Suann told me you weren't wearing your seatbelt. I was stunned by that because of my terrible accident the year before. I know, I know I told you that my seatbelt saved my life. Dave can vouch for this. I looked like a raccoon you said!!! Two black eyes staring at you...

Well Paul. Your dad and mom are with you now officially this year. Thank you for giving me them, as mine. They loved me unconditionally and laughed at all my antics. I still have your siblings. At the luncheon after your mom's funeral I sat with Tommy, Vicki and Walter. I love your family. Such a kind family. I invited Walter up to hunt and fish!

So, Jim and John are with you now. I thought we would all live to be 90. I always thought I would see you all again. When we did, no time had passed. Dancing, drinking and laughing. I go back. I go back to the day you were driving that lawnmower with sunglasses on and when I lifted them you almost killed me...too much tekillya the night before?! I laughed. You laughed!!! Never could help it.

I go back to the "last Who concert"! Paula dancing saying, stop looking at me!! Shooting off fireworks in the backyard. Officer Amendola coming to the door! Calm as ever!

30 years. 30 years. Do you see me? See my life? Do you? I prayed and prayed for you, knowing we all needed it. After you died I was haunted by your soul...where was it??? Where??? I prayed and prayed. Then I dreamt you were all dressed up and had a backpack. Leaning up against a sports car ready to go...saying goodbye to me. I miss you. I always will. We will see each other again. Be there at the gates and if they won't let me in, connive a way, like old times...I know you smiled at that!🙏🏼❤️ Pray for us Paul.

Love you,

Hel

Comments

Cookie Cutter Parenting

When I first became a parent I was looking to be exactly like other Catholic parents, whatever that was. I immunized Beau and Maria. I put them in pre-school because they would never get into Harvard if I didn't. I bought the "Happy Meals" because that was what all the other moms did. I dressed them like all the other kids. We celebrated Santa and then God. Why oh why was I so unhappy? I had everything I wanted, so I thought. One day I turned and saw a disaster following me. A Catholic School run by feminists of the worst kind. Caring more about academics and fundraising than the souls of these little people. We were raising them to put God on the back burner. God knew exactly what to do. I became pregnant with Ireland. I had secondary infertility. I was very busy when I became pregnant. I was working part-time for the Catholic Pre-School, working part-time as a Waitress at a place that had Country Music Shows. I was also helping my brother start

Good Morning Americans

This morning I turned on GMA. GMA standing for Good Morning America! Really? The news they put out is anything but good. Today the ticker at the bottom of the screen read that milk was going up $.60. Here . BUT this is what was supposed to happen. Here. Coffee prices are going up. Here. The best is fuel! Gas prices escalate. Here. Let's talk about jobs... Here is what the government says. Here. The reality is " In a phone call, Harvard Business School Entrepreneurship and Strategy Professor Joe Fuller called the numbers “more of the same.” While he felt the headline jobs number was “a disappointment even in the context of a decaying picture for jobs growth,” Fuller warns that”trying to read a lot into month to month data is a fools errand. There is, however, something in these numbers that’s unsettling. Even though we talk about the period from July to November being good relative to the recent past, it still wasn’t the type of job growth numbers we

Don't Judge a Special Needs Family

Have you ever been misunderstood? Have you ever tried to do the right thing and have a whole bunch of wicked come hurling at you? What did you do? Did you start to endlessly explain your motives so it could be twisted by the few people that dislike you? Or did you stay silent? Staying silent is not my strong point, thus the blog.;) When I became pregnant with Looly (Kate), I noticed some big changes within myself. I had to fight to keep her alive because of a difficult pregnancy. Then at the end of my pregnancy I had to fight to keep us both alive. Then we were told Looly had Down Syndrome. At that time, we were grateful to God that she was alive and later we were thanking God that her heart was healthy and there was no neurological damage. She just has Down Syndrome. Just Down Syndrome. Say those words...just Down Syndrome. That is what I do, I simplify difficult things, then reflect and think I'm crazy. I was connected to this child at conception. I begged God to let me car

Being Up With Down Syndrome

Search This Blog