Being Up With Down Syndrome

In this early hour I woke up and made banana bread for my children.  Snow flurries are falling and I feel a great need to hibernate with my three daughters today.  Just teaching, learning and preparing for the Thanksgiving Holiday, with a little Christmas Spirit starting to weave through my house. So many people suffering right now, so I quietly stop to listen to what God wants me to pray.  Four friends going through chemo for breast cancer.  I have learned and am still learning a lot about beauty, under terrible circumstances.  Baldness!  A woman's crowning glory is her hair?  Nope.  It is her battle with the evil of cancer and proudly showing, yes, I'm in a battle and my spirit is winning.  Even if...the physical battle is lost, the closeness to our Creator is branded into our souls and our hearts just find the wonder in the simplest kindness.  A smile, a laugh! Who helped make a terrible day a doable day.  A simple look from a husband to a wife.  A surprise bouquet to just

I like to wake up before Looly (Kate).  I like to pray and read a positive quote or two while drinking a fresh cup of coffee.  When I hear Looly begin to stir, I get her a fresh cup of milk.  She can successfully drink from the straw.  I sing good morning to her every morning that I get her out of the crib.  My daughters do the same if they get her in the morning.  I change her diaper and she drinks some milk.  She then takes off running in the livingroom.  Back and forth to get her energy out.  Then it is breakfast time.  We start our day either chauffeuring someone to class or if we are blessed to stay home, we start our schooling.  As the girls do their work, Looly is learning to use a pencil and crayons.  Just to see her make a mark on paper gives us joy.  Her vocabulary is very limited, so communication is difficult somewhat.  She knows some sign language but stubbornly refuses to use it much.  That is the world of Down Syndrome no one speaks of, stubborn. I watch as each child i

Some very big things have happened to my family since Kate was born.  I've had to surrender my life completely to concentrating on BJ, all the kids and my Mom.  This is my immediate family.  Of course you all may think "Well sure, of course!"  But I have always had this part of me that gets involved in other peoples tragedies.  Trying to help or fix that persons life...not realizing that I was leaving my family and they needed me more...especially now.  Huge things such as cancer and death are exceptions to the rules.  The every day things have to be completed. BJ is my protector.  He is my very best friend.  He needs me more now than he has ever needed me in all our life together.  My children are each in their own lives but they still need me.  The older kids need me to listen to them and sometimes, I said sometimes, give advice and guidance.  They love me and love having me here for them.  My two daughters are at that age right before teen drama starts.  These are cher

What do you do when you are faced with a crisis?  Do you keep plugging along hoping it will get better?  Do you ask for help?  Do you PRAY?  Do you stay cheerful or do you fall apart in grief? I have had a lot of time to think about this lately.  I watched my own parents push through when in a crisis.  Each holding on to their rosary and praying things would get better.  It was a good example for me.   I started working harder.  In every way.  Cleaning and organizing.  Teaching more life lessons on patience and kindness.  Praying as a family.  Trying to wake up in the morning and just be grateful some prayer time, a cup of coffee and some "good mornings" from BJ and the kids.  I start every morning now trying to figure out what new thing to make for dinner.  What kind of goodie I should make today.  Trying to use, just what we have.   Mostly I try to read more positive things.  Right now I am reading a wonderful Ebook by a Catholic Homeschool Mom named Dessi Petrova Jackson.

When I was a kid, my faith was formed by my parents.  Every single Sunday was a celebration.  Wake up to fresh donuts my Dad brought home the night before.  The variety was spectacular.  Never was there a bad choice!  We would all get ready for Sunday Mass then.  The Mass was beautiful, in a beautiful Catholic Church.   I remember sitting beside my Dad.  Staring at Monsignor Garland.  I didn't always understand what he was talking about at such a young age, but I really really liked him.  He was my friend.  He was my families friend.  Not in the way you may think.  He didn't come over for dinner or hang out having a beer (in Monsignors case, a nice glass of whiskey) on the front porch with Dad.  He was just there at St. Phillips, always.  My Dad did the security for the Church and School and especially the graveyard!  The graveyard was sometimes occupied after dark by teenagers sneaking beers.   So after the Sunday Mass we would all come home and my Mom would make delicious hoa

I became frustrated today.  I was reading Facebook and Mark Shea wrote about Matt Walsh and his dislike of his writing.  Especially about suicide.  Mark is a converted Catholic that has irritated me for years.  He will make a statement and then all these supposedly Catholics will jump on the band wagon of annihilation of someone's character.  He called Ann Coulter an attention whore!  If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.  The best part is, I never friended him.  I never followed him.  It is as if Facebook needed some entertainment and shoots out what Mark is saying every once in awhile.  Every single time I become infuriated.  So today I again called him out on his grandiose statement that Matt Walsh doesn't understand suicide.  Do you understand suicide?  I don't.  I have encountered it among many people in my life.  Starting in eighth grade when we all went to school to find out our classmate shot himself in the head.  That was the first dealing with suicid

My daughter Maria is graduating.  Let me give you some background on this.  When Maria was three she was determined to go to pre-school like her big brother Beau.  Back then I was following the herd. Today I think parents are crazy to rush our babies.  Anyway, she went.  Then came Catholic School that I yanked (yes I said yanked) them out of the school that neglected them and then told them they were neglected because I had more children.  We decided to homeschool them.  Beau graduated last year and is doing fantastic as a HVAC Controls Technician.  Maria is graduating and attending Penn State for Agriculture Business Management. Maria has been my toughest child to raise because she is nothing like me.  She is better.  She doesn't have the rose colored glasses her mother tends to have.  She looks, she sees and she moves forward to what she believes is right.  A smart woman told me to let this girl bloom...get out of the way!  I did and we couldn't be prouder.  Then the mother i

There is no anniversary, birthday or any other reminder, I just miss my Dad.  My Dad.  I could write for days about my Dad.  He was the very first man I fell in love with.  He was handsome, he was kind and he worked harder than most.   When I was little, 3 to 5, he would put me in the car and we would travel!  To the Post Office, Bank and THEN somewhere for food.  He would hold my little hand and introduce me as his girlfriend.  Out of everything I remember about my Dad, it is his hands.  How he held mine, how he typed, how he held a cup, and how he danced holding my Mom's hand.  I loved everything about this man.  Even when he got mad...I reflect with humor.  He NEVER swore.  If he slipped a swear word we all ran for cover. He took me to my very first day to school.  I didn't go to Kindergarten.  I was told it was because I was too smart for that.  Later when I was torturing my siblings with my intelligence, I was told it was because I was still a baby...attached to my parents

Today I read about a high school sophomore with developmental disabilities being bullied.   Article  He decided to tape, with his school issued iPad, what was happening to him so he could let his mom know first hand the amount of bullying going on. The writer of this article described him as a "tormented special-needs student".  He was regularly shoved, tripped and almost burned.  So he taped it and took it home to his mother.  She proceeded to submit the evidence to the schools principal.  Here is the great part...the principal and administration decided to call the police and threatened the special-needs child with felony wiretapping.  It was later reduced to disorderly conduct and he was found guilty on March 19. First, shockingly this is South Fayette High School.  Very near to me.  My two nieces attend there and some friends children too.  Second, I was getting invitations for special dances held at this school for special needs teens to attend.   Dance.   These danc

If you choose to put God in a neat little box, then put the box on a shelf in the closet, only getting it out every once in a while.  Maybe a Sunday, maybe not.  Your life will start to unravel.   At first, you give every excuse not to go to Church.  You had to work, you were too tired, you had a hangnail.  Your life will unravel. Then you blame your past.  Too much guilt, no one understands my pain, I am an adult and make these decisions on when I need God.  Your life will unravel. Next, your life isn't turning out how you planned.  You were going to have success in business, a great marriage and perfect children...it didn't go that way...it's Gods fault.  Your life will unravel. You one day turn around and compare yourself and measure yourself against those close to you.  Why are they happy?  Why is it that when awful things happen to others, they seem to handle it and even laugh through their tears?  Why is it they are happy and you are so angry?  Your life will unravel.

These past two weeks have been very rough.  If you read any of my posts, I wanted Lent to bring me to peace.  We had a huge scare that Kate possibly had a cancer mass in her brain.  No, she doesn't.  It was two terrifying days and in the end she has some differences in her eyes from having Down Syndrome.  My husband, BJ and I wept in relief. Being in the hospital exposed her to a stomach flu.  It progressed through the other kids in the family.  I HATE illness.  I can deal with a lot but illness in my children sends me right over the edge of worry.  I rely on doctors, but I don't trust them.  There is a whole new world of genius doctors out there, saving lives.  There are also a whole lot that can't think outside of the box, or for that matter their wallets.  We have encircled ourselves with doctors who we trust, but one particular Neurosurgeon at Children's was not it.  She was invasive, harsh and looking at Kate as a Down Syndrome not my child...not a gift from God.

I knew a woman who got pregnant.  The "Father" refused to marry her.  She had a son...his son.  He married another and left his Catholic Faith.  He became "born again".  He was baptized again.  He pounded on his bible and on his family.  He said Catholics aren't Christian.  They worship idols.  He attacked and attacked.  He became obsessed to the point that his religion was based on hatred.  Hatred that he could NOT convince even the weakest Catholic to switch sides.  He sinned.  Some of the biggest sins.  He had no where to turn.  He had all the sacraments of the Holy Catholic Church.  He could walk into a confessional at any time.  But pride, ego, ego, pride, stop him.   The worst part of this prideful story is the undermining of the mother of his son.  She brought him up Catholic. This story is probably a very common story.  It interests me because when we are at a crossroads, what do we do?  We sometimes think we will take the easier road.  Funny, it ends

As soon as I said that my goal this Lent was to find an inner peace by Easter Sunday, my world turned very stressful. My siblings and I planned an 80th birthday party for my Mom.  Since I was a small child, I love birthdays...expecially mine!  Age is just a number, right?  Anyway, we had her party at a great Irish Pub called Riley's Pour House Website  in Carnegie, PA.  I love this pub! I love the owner Jim Riley because he has a great sense of humor and is very kind.  I still think that if you own an Irish Pub then you should be able to play the Bagpipes, right Jim Riley?  If your searching for an Irish Pub with great food and entertainment, not to mention the crowd of great people, then definitely stop at Riley's! The party was packed at noon, on a Sunday, during a snow storm.  That is how our family rules.  Half a foot of snow?  Who cares!  My Mom thought she was having lunch with her children and grandchildren.  It was very very hard keeping this quiet AND stopping her

Time and again I am reading or hearing conversations about how things work.  Who is good and who is bad.  Who should be included and who should be shunned.  Do you think I have EVER been part of this or have judged as such?  Of course, we all have at some point. Then it happened, my eyes were opened.  There were some people, that were by far, the most judgmental, inclusive, egotistical bunch of hypocrites ever to be encountered.  Yes, naive was I.  Blind had I been.  Delusional? Certainly.  Shocked is an understatement. What was the most shocking was the cruelty and rudeness.  The very ones pointing and accusing others of horrendous acts, were themselves the biggest culprits.  The very ones that were going to judge and disperse unkindnesses, were the ones looked up to.  Humility was a word said over and over, but with nothing whatsoever to show for it.  The amount of self absorbed, know it alls were bursting at the seams to show how pious and meek they were.  As if someone ripped o

Lent is around the corner and for the very first time, I welcome it.  I have an Aunt, I tend to agree with, that says, "I don't pick my Lent, it picks me."  I do give up and sacrifice but I always try to take something good up too.  This past year from last Lent, has been a very difficult year internally for me, because you see, I am a sinner. From the outside looking in, I am a wife and mother.  My plate is full...some would say overflowing. I am also a partner in business.  An owner, per say of our business.  Then there is homeschooling our children.  Did I mention trying to also stay in touch with friends.  Almost impossible.  The constant guilt that follows my life can become unbearable, because you see, I am a sinner. In the whirlwind of our life, I recently realized my lack of peace.  One evening I was upset and praying for peace.  Peace in the world, peace in my community, peace in my family and mostly peace in my heart.  For a brief moment, so very brief, I fe

I came across an article "Congressman Gary Peter's Lawyers Up to Silence Julie Boonstra"  Here    Remember when Sarah Palin talked about Death Panels deciding who lives and who dies?  Well here we are. It is beyond what I even thought possible.  Ever watch the movie "The Ten Commandments"?  Here . History repeats itself.  How far have we come?  Still killing babies.   Infanticide? In fact, in the Netherlands it's a logical extension of that country’s euthanasia license. A bureaucratic check list has even been published, including in the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine, known as the Groningen Protocol, by which Dutch neonatologists determine which disabled babies qualify to be euthanized.  In America it is the same with prenatal testing encouraging a parent of a baby that may have an imperfection aborted.  Or maybe just kill the baby to end its life because of inconvenience to the mother.  If as a Country we kill our babies, how long was it goin

This morning I turned on GMA.  GMA standing for Good Morning America!  Really?  The news they put out is anything but good.  Today the ticker at the bottom of the screen read that milk was going up $.60.   Here .  BUT this is what was supposed to happen.   Here.   Coffee prices are going up.   Here.   The best is fuel!  Gas prices escalate.   Here. Let's talk about jobs...  Here is what the government says.   Here.   The reality is " In a phone call,  Harvard Business School  Entrepreneurship and Strategy Professor Joe Fuller called the numbers “more of the same.” While he felt the headline jobs number was “a disappointment even in the context of a decaying picture for jobs growth,” Fuller warns that”trying to read a lot into month to month data is a fools errand. There is, however, something in these numbers that’s unsettling. Even though we talk about the period from July to November being good relative to the recent past, it still wasn’t the type of job growth numbers we

It is my Anniversary today.  My husband BJ and I have been together 21 years.  Married for 19.  I knew him growing up in my hometown.  He was my best friend's, at the time, younger brother.  We met again in my late twenties and it was love.  The kindness in this mans heart won me over.  The laughter that we shared was huge! The great joys were having our five children.  The great sorrows were losing three children in miscarriages.  The great joy was knowing our love would last through whatever was tossed at us.  The sorrow was that there was a lot of unnessary things thrown at us.  The great joy is that we both have God at the center of our lives.  The great joy is that no matter what, we found laughter got us through. So today...we are sharing this Anniversary with the kids too.  A great dinner, a few laughs and lots of love.  Thank you God for bringing to me, the love of my life.

Yes I am going to venture into this subject.  We are a family with five children.  The youngest has Down Syndrome and with Down Syndrome, she can have a compromised immune system.  The first year of her life I breast fed and so she was quite healthy.  From age one to two, all hell broke loose.  She had a constant cold from August until April.  She would get over a cold to then get a flu, then a cold again.  A stomach flu and a cold again.  Then it happened.  Pneumonia.  She got sick at 1:00 a.m. and the next morning something wasn't right.  I called our Pediatrician who gave her a chest X-ray and yes she was put on her fourth antibiotic.  I was beaten.  I was destroyed.  Other moms of Down Syndrome said "Oh yea this is all our lives with Downs children".   What???????  Nope I was NOT going to be on this cycle.  I was getting off this ride. I discovered through the help of my cousin Brenda, essential oils.  All began when she told me about Oregano Oil.  Oil of oregano, w

Every year at this time I get the winter blahs!  We homeschool, the weather has been cold and grey and everyone gets antsy.  I always said that if I ever can, I will take a vacation to a tropical island in February! Last evening I went to dinner with a good friend.  I look at at all my friends as blessings and they all bring something to my life in a special way.  This particular friend is a surprise.  We became friends by getting thrown into a common cause.  I was "warned" of her by quite a few people.  Every single warning was false.  This friend is kind, loving and has helped me figure out ways to handle some very difficult situations.  Last night was no different.  We are eating and catching up and I find out that she used to work with Autistic children. She is like an onion!  You peel back another layer and surprise!  My friend is an encyclopedia of information.  Our youngest daughter Kate has Down Syndrome.   There are a lot of things that our daughter does that  I

I am reflecting on God's Divine Will.  My Mother likes to call it, The Divine Design!  What caused this reflection was waking up to news that there was a fire at my beloved St. Peter's Church in Steubenville, Ohio. I fell in love with St. Peter's the moment I walked inside, up the aisle towards the most beautiful altar.  Behind the altar is a mural of Jesus with eyes I recognize, to his left is St. Peter with a fishing net and keys, to his right Blessed Pope John Paul II and Rome.  I was enticed by a most holy man serving the Mass and touching my heart.  He was small in stature and humble beyond words.  His name was Monsignor George Yontz.  Many a homily he gave that brought my husband and myself to tears because of the love behind the story.  Then we would come to St. Peter's and there was another holy man who also touched my heart with his homilies that even my elderly Mother felt educated as we walked out of Mass. Father Ray Ryland.  He comforted me two times in my l

It will be 17 years this March since we moved to our farm.  We had rose colored glasses and dreams of a beautiful home and property.  We live in a ranch house with 4 bedrooms.  Though it sounds big, it is quite small.  B.J. is my husband.  We have five children Beau 19, Maria 17, Ireland 11, Trinity 10 and Kate is 2.  We also have a black Labrador named Daisy and a black  Pomeranian named Zoey.  We have a barn cat named Peter.  Right now before this Spring, we have three cows Betsy, Connie and Baby.  One pig and one chicken. We have broken down buildings, two that fell and a garage about to fall.  We have a gorgeous barn!  Top of the list is to get the barn back to its beauty.  I have dreams of wedding and anniversary parties in that barn. My name is Helen and I am the owner of Rogers Mechanical Services, LLC.  I am a Catholic Homeschool Mom.  I am part of our Heart of Mary Homeschool Group.  I am a mother to a beautiful baby girl named Kate with Down Syndrome. This is my first b