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Who is more disabled sometimes? It may not be our Kate!

I'm a wife.  A mother.  A daughter.  A sister.  A niece.  A cousin.  A friend.  I'm a Catholic.  A homeschool mom.  A business owner.  A farm owner.  A mom to a special needs child.

I'm weak.  There are so many projects to be done and I'm tired.  I don't know how to ask for help, so I keep plugging along thinking it will all get better.  So we are probably like many of you reading this! Where did the summer go?  It really didn't feel like summer...it was too full!  4H, ballet, just activities everywhere and with each child.  We fenced in a nice big area for Kate to play and tried to take her swimming every chance we had.

Writing this blog was to show people the truth about Down Syndrome.  That it is a delay.  People with Down Syndrome are successful, great people.  Successes in learning and functioning in their lives.  This blog was to talk about obstacles, successes and being proud.  It is also about heartbreak sometimes.

There have been so many people leave my life after Kate was born.  It was truly sad.  First we were overwhelmed and then I couldn't ask for help.  I didn't know what to ask for.  There was family that truly disliked me.  They thought Kate shouldn't have been born.  One relative just couldn't stop the barbs.  When someone is just keeping their head above water, you throw them a life preserver.  You help.  You don't wish them to drown.  They haven't even tried or asked to see Kate in three years.  That is heartbreaking.

It is so funny how pro-choice women keep yelling,  it is our bodies and if the "mother" decides to abort, that's a woman's right.  If a "mother" believes in life and chooses to have many children at any age, she can be condemned.  We were not given that respect and now I just pray there is a road to healing.  Well, we are about life, love and the pursuit of happiness!

Then there is family that is so there for us.  My mother and sisters and brothers are truly a blessing.  They throw me the life preserver when they can.  It can't be easy...like I said, I don't know what to ask for.  I just need them.

So!  If you know a special needs family, here is what they need.  LOVE!  A cup of coffee and conversation.  Maybe a meal every once in awhile.  Maybe the parents need a night out.  It never has to be complicated!  Just invite them over for drinks.  Just ask them how they are doing.  Is there anything they need?  Most always the answer is "no, nothing thanks."  Just be a friend and understand when they can't participate but know they really wanted to.

So what is the answer?  Great question!  It has been a question for four years.  Grace.  Prayer.  Keep smiling and trying.  Set tiny goals and pray they become bigger.  Sometimes it is the very small things that mean the most.  Kate started going to Mass.  It is a small thing, but it was the best accomplishment this summer.  It is only difficult because most people never knew about Kate.  So if you are reading this, whisper a prayer for my family.





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