Lately it has been a roller coaster within myself about Looly (Kate), our youngest daughter who has Down Syndrome. As her parent I worry if I'm doing enough. She still doesn't feed herself with a spoon or fork. She is beginning to listen when we say no. She has learned how to undress herself down to her onesie, even if we need her dressed! If it is just a matter of when, I can handle that, but if it's a matter of "we should have", that's my worry.
I reflect on how much I wanted to hold onto my pregnancy with her. Making many deals with God along the way. From very early in my pregnancy I had whispers that this child may have Down Syndrome. I had started writing a story, in the story was a big family who had a child with Downs Syndrome and the Mom was pregnant and wondering if the child she was carrying would have Down Syndrome. Now why would I write this??? Why was this story so important to write? Now I know why. I didn't get any genetic testing done because it wouldn't matter to us if she had Down Syndrome. Now fast forward a couple of years and I see very clearly that God had chosen our family to walk through this and strengthen our faith.
I was grateful. Overwhelmingly grateful. While some people were angry that I would choose so many children and to continue into my 40's to have babies, others felt sad for us. I felt like I had won some kind of secret lottery. That God, in all his infinite wisdom thought we were good enough parents to handle a special needs child. What a gift. Now we try to live up to this challenge. I definitely lack grace in this sometimes. My frustrations have brought me many times to my knees begging for an answer to something so simple as having Looly listen to my instructions, "don't throw your sippy cup, place it on the table."
Having her talk is a big worry. I'm ready to start a program with her to help her communicate. I long for the day when I can hear what she is thinking, wanting, scheming, joking! My husband BJ is much more relaxed with her. He takes her swimming and is putting up a safety area for us to play in the yard. Always striving to give her more freedom, within safe limits.
So this blog is just an outlet to say, pray for all families with special needs children. Pray that they continue to strive for what is best and for the help they need along the way! Thank you.
I reflect on how much I wanted to hold onto my pregnancy with her. Making many deals with God along the way. From very early in my pregnancy I had whispers that this child may have Down Syndrome. I had started writing a story, in the story was a big family who had a child with Downs Syndrome and the Mom was pregnant and wondering if the child she was carrying would have Down Syndrome. Now why would I write this??? Why was this story so important to write? Now I know why. I didn't get any genetic testing done because it wouldn't matter to us if she had Down Syndrome. Now fast forward a couple of years and I see very clearly that God had chosen our family to walk through this and strengthen our faith.
I was grateful. Overwhelmingly grateful. While some people were angry that I would choose so many children and to continue into my 40's to have babies, others felt sad for us. I felt like I had won some kind of secret lottery. That God, in all his infinite wisdom thought we were good enough parents to handle a special needs child. What a gift. Now we try to live up to this challenge. I definitely lack grace in this sometimes. My frustrations have brought me many times to my knees begging for an answer to something so simple as having Looly listen to my instructions, "don't throw your sippy cup, place it on the table."
Having her talk is a big worry. I'm ready to start a program with her to help her communicate. I long for the day when I can hear what she is thinking, wanting, scheming, joking! My husband BJ is much more relaxed with her. He takes her swimming and is putting up a safety area for us to play in the yard. Always striving to give her more freedom, within safe limits.
So this blog is just an outlet to say, pray for all families with special needs children. Pray that they continue to strive for what is best and for the help they need along the way! Thank you.
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